Rush Limbaugh's Chauffeur

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road.
Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer.

They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed hours. When he came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his employee had been there so long.

"Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses," explained the driver.
"What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.
The chauffeur replied, "I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig."

You don't know how badly people think of you... especially behind your back

Complete Makeover

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."

Events that happened before another may not be causal. There's still things unknown to us and unexplored. Do not assume too much.

Refrigerator Husband

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband. He thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''

Some people just can't see and understand that the problem lies with themselves. It can be difficult sometimes as it is hard to be objective as well as see things from another point of view. If this can change, their world and perception will change as well.

2 Days Later

It has been like this since slightly more than 10 years ago. I always wished I could say the words right to you. But now, even if I tell myself I can recognise you from your back 10 metres away, your voice from 3 metres away, I can't find you anywhere. Best wishes to you.

My Dæmon

Meet Lysianthia.



"Hi to this world."