The future comes along its way

The year begins with the question with what I’m going to work as in the future. It automatically leads me to think what kind of life I want. How do I want to live my next few decades?

These thoughts spiraled through my head. The answers didn’t come immediately. I know what I have to do. Be honest with myself. It’s not easy. Sometimes I think I might not even know if I’m lying to myself. Sometimes I don’t get any answers for the questions I asked. It is worst then not getting answers.

I thought about The Alchemist - Answer to Your Calling. If I do that, I can get the riches or treasure of my life. Else, I can just lose the direction in my life. It’s not as simple as just following my own thoughts. Especially when I mentioned I can’t tell what is real all the time.

But I know I’m still on this journey (as long as I live). I’ll grow to be who I want myself to be with no regrets. I have to write down what I think is the truth for me. Events that happen around me continue to help me be in-tune with my own feelings and values. Lucky for them, I’m able to better know who I am. I learn about how turn-off I can be about some other people. I ask myself why I’m turn-off. And I get my answer (thank you). I don’t like self-centered behavior, and words/actions that neglect other people’s feelings. I’m equally guilty of behaving the same way at times. I don’t want to judge anyone just because they have these personality traits, so I just write down I don’t like what they are doing. They are not wrong in my opinion. We are just different. I think I have a real high score for F to make me feel this way about others. I know this means I have to work on social dynamics and interpersonal relationships. Making people feel good about themselves is my calling but I don’t expect just anyone to understand and feel the same as I do.

I kept thinking that before I can help anyone, I have to deal with myself and make sure I’m congruent and doing well. It means take care of my own problems before I start meddling into others. Down the road, I came to know that my problems will never end. New ones come and old ones resurface. If I only help myself, I can never answer the call. I’ll never be happy. In life, the realization always comes at the least expected moment. As a surprise. I was watching the latest TV hit, Heroes. From it, I realized that even heroes have their problems to solve constantly. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. But weaknesses shouldn’t be stopping us from helping the rest. Weaknesses are there so that we have to work with other people and we need each other help to improve our life. It means we need to learn to work with people, to reach to the ones who need help and from them, we can get to learn how we can carry on with a meaningful life. You might not be able to help Alice, but Bernard can and you can help Bernard. We may not see the immediate effects of our actions but we have to believe in paying it forward. One good turn deserve another. What goes round comes round. I’m beginning to hold a stronger belief towards Kharma. Somehow, I feel life can get simpler with this belief.

I don’t need to be the greatest man in the world. I just have to be the greatest man I want to be, in the way I want to be.

And when I think further about a few words my friends had shared on impermanence. I think I’m experiencing it with my changing thoughts and beliefs. I feel differently about other people and myself already since the time I’m revealed to some answers. It just happens and certain emotions and opinions about things just go away bit by bit. Welcome to the new rules, I say.

2008

2 weeks into 2008, I was already asked several times about my goals or resolution for the year. I'm not planning to write a list of them this year. Instead, I want to adopt an attitude and carry it through. I came up with a mission statement for myself to stay focus.

Work Harder, Play Harder.

This year my aim is to use my time efficiently and enrich my life in all aspects. I foresee 2008 is a year of tremendous challenges and hence also means opportunities and growth for me.

Work Harder. It's a make it or break it year at work. My colleague suggested work smarter. I agree to his point. It also may determine where I want to go for my future.
Play Harder. What's life without play and fun? Got to go explore more places, try new activities, widen my social circle. Realize life is too short to just bump around and sleep 12 hours on weekend.

More Japanese film

As mentioned earlier, I watched the highly acclaimed japanese animation in the week. This weekend was filled with more Japan stuff. I bought 3 more Japanese movies, Hula Girls, Umizaru 1 & 2 and watched 2 of them.

Similarly, I missed the Hula Girls last year in the cinema. It's based on a true story that took place in 1965 in a small coal mining village in Japan. It talks about the breaking free of traditional thinking, going against your dearest family while fighting for your dreams and strong bondings between teacher and students. One word to sum it up - Touching.

Umizaru 2 was out the year before. I heard it was good and wanted to watch it but given my usual style, I hate to watch the Part 2 without watching Part1 1st. I'm the kind who can miss the ending but will choose not to watch a movie if I miss the beginning. I tried to search for the Part 1 and couldn't find it till yesterday at Page One where they have a VCD box set for both parts. I'm missing diving after watching.

I think I'm living a Japan weekend. I also had a Japanese dinner on saturday at Akashi. The sashimi here lives up to standard.

Storytellers

After so many years, I still think that the Japanese are the world's best storyteller. Their manga, drama and anime are proof of this statement. Their greatest works are really the best stories ever told and illustrated. Plots may be simple but the words and how the stories unfold can always be dramatic, unexpected or touching.

Missed a one good animation last year but got the vcd. They just get better and better.

Go watch this. You won't regret it.

New Year's Gift

I received a gift at the countdown party- a kiss ... ... from mother Nature. This is the consequence when fun went overboard.

I find it a bit of irony. I engaged in mountain trekking and was unscathed. Who will expect that I hurt myself back at a party. Really have to exert caution at all times.

Feeling crippled with the right hand down.

• I can't exert too much strength with my right hand, eating using the chopsticks and spoon become quite painful now.
• Holding a pen poses a little problem. Now my handwriting is even more illegible. Luckily typing still works as long as I'm careful on how I place my wrist. Yea, using the mouse is a bit more tiring as I have to hold my hand in mid-air to operate the mouse.
• Bathing is as usual, refreshing and awakening. whoo...when the water flows through the wound. Haha, I can't be more alive than this. I can't scrub myself properly too with only one hand. Just feel like I'm applying soap and washing off the soap. Maybe have to put on cologne to mask off any smell.
• Can't eat some food in case of infection. Chinese new year is one more month away!
  

Otherwise, I think I'm coping well with my better left hand. A different way of starting 2008. If everything happens for a purpose, I think it will be to learn to take better care of my body, health, mind and not to take things for granted.